No shame in my game...

I'm not the first and I'm not the last of my breed, this I know. I'm not the first to question the dichotomy of women who act, for lack of a better term, like men. What does this mean? From my experience, what men want us to think that means is non-emotional, strong, independent, self sufficient, alpha males. What that translates to me is, egotistical. I say this standing on the only platform I know, my first hand knowledge. Why can a man hop from bar to bed every night of the week and not a thought is formed, not a judgment made, nothing. HE can do who and what he pleases without risk of rumor or public humiliation. Hell, I don't know if a man even knows truly what the 'walk of shame is'. How would he? There is no shame in his game by nature. This may not seem like an interracial only issue and you're right , it's not, just in my world it is. I rarely stand up and shout that "I TOO SLEEP AROUND," mostly because I don't want to. See unlike men, I don't feel the need to fist pump upon exiting a strangers bedroom, thinking that I dodged another commitment bullet and that I hope I didn't give them the right number. I can promise that unless your conversation got me before your perfect hairline and biceps did, I didn't give you my real number, so no issue there. In fact, I may not have given you any number, because dammit that is my right. There are no rules mandating meeting people in bars, in case someone forgot to tell you that, honey. I may meet you, flirt, exchange alcohol and moves on the dance floor and that's it. My intentions don't need to be known, after all, a man's intentions even if stated, are rarely truthful. I see no reason to compare men and women as sexual aggressors, for they cannot be compared at all. I choose to be the thief in the night who will steal your mind with my charm, cross boundaries in the bedroom and  break your heart when I don't stay the night. I change the expectations, and lower the reality. I am not the whore you want me to be, nor the Madonna I appear to be. I am simply a sexual, free spirited, aggressive, social individual. I can sleep with just as many men as they do women without a second thought. Why? Because, there's absolutely NO shame in my game. 

Dolla Dolla Bill

You don't know Dolla Bill?...I'm sure you've seen him around. I wish these men knew rockin’ that Coogi from head to toe doesn’t look as fresh when you can’t rip the tags off. Because how the hell are you going to exchange it for next weekend's outfit? Or that Charger you’re pushing from the “Buy Here, Pay Here” lot would be much more attractive if 75% of the black men in Cincinnati (with a license) weren’t driving the same thing. Oh hey Dolla, yes Dolla Bill, whose name is your phone in? Your Moms?  Oh it’s Cricket, right. While we are on the subject of Dollar Bill, how many (dollars) do you have on you right now? None, right.

When did a black man think that appearing to be something he currently isn’t was the way to a woman’s heart..err…vagina? If you walk around pretending like you just had filet mignon for dinner I’m going to be pissed when we pull up to 5 Guys for a date. Actually who am I kidding more like Burger King. I’m going to have to put this one on upbringing too. Someone, somewhere told these men that looking good on the outside, is all that matters. Paying your light bill comes second to the new Jordans or giving your baby momma(s) money to help support your kids. As long as the shoes match the shirt that matches the hat...you are really going somewhere. Riiight. Listen I like a nice dresser as much as anyone else, just not at the expense of let's say your rent. I had an ex who would rather go and drop $200 on an outfit and got to Rent A Center for furniture, umm can we say priories?? That gets me on a whole new rant...one for another time. All I'm saying is all that's shiny isn't gold...even from Dolla Bill. 

Shoes, not Choos!

“You sound good girl, tell me, what do your feet look like?” Excuse me?? The first time I heard this, my inner diva came out.  You paying for my pedi? Have you looked at your own damn feet?? That crusty yellow toe nail better stay under socks. Do you plan on having me barefoot in front of your friends? With a face like this they sure as hell aren't looking at my feet and if they are you should question their intentions and or sexuality.  Be glad I represent on the outside and if my toe nail is chipped…I Bet you’ll still hit it. This goes right along with shoes. I had a guy tell me that one of the most important traits in a woman is her shoe game..wtf are you Jimmy Choo?? I immediately cancelled my date with that one. I’m not gonna to get all bent outta shape about my shoes when you show up pushing a Honda. Screw you, I’ll take my Target shoes and Nordstrom rack boots and walk elsewhere. 

Mommy Issues

I have found that most black men as street tough as they seem, are actually very needy. From my experience most of them have horrible relationships with their mother. This may not even be a surface thing but more of a class, situational thing. Regardless of how much a woman may love her child, she can only do what she can. If she has 5 kids and works 3 jobs how much affection time love and attention can she give?? The neediness comes from the actual want of a relationship with a woman, a nurturer. Finding the balance is hard enough for men as it is…

I dated this guy that had zero relationship with his mother as a child. As an adult I think he craves it more than he would like to admit. He also used it as an excuse to not be affectionate or to know how to interact with a woman, meaning he wouldn’t say things like you look nice or compliment. He again said it was b/c of his lack of growing up with a woman. I say BULL!!!!! The fact that you acknowledge your issue and refuse to change it…weak. Something as simple as offering to help make an undressed bed gets rejected while the need for attention and medication when one is laid up with back pain is welcomed. Make up your mind babies! Do you want the nipple or do you want the beer bottle??

There is also a whole domination aspect that goes in with the mommy issues. Wanting to punish a mate for something your mother did or didn’t do seems common in those men that like to be physical in the bedroom. The same example above used to like to smack me, spit on me during sex. I didn’t mind it, turns me on a bit. But his needs to want to humiliate a female is so clear and a textbook case.  Again, instead of embracing it he said ‘screw it’ literally and is currently working it out in the bedroom…still!

whyte gurlz

Yea you know the ones who spell everything wrong on purpose hoping to sound, forgive me for lack of a better term, "ghetto". This to them appeals to that thug they are chasing so hard scoping all 200 of his Facebook pics most of which include him a bottle of Ciroq and a really really drunk white girl..excuse me whyte gurl. Why do these, I can't even say women, girls, think that this is what a man wants? I have met many a black man who tells me that I am different from other girls in my zip code. a predominately chocolate man hungry white girl populated zip code. I am different simply because I am me. I'm not going to change my grammar or my vocabulary, my choice in music and certainly not the way I am to fit into any persons idea of what I should be. I have the fever, doesn't mean I have to look like a terminally ill case. I fear wearing hoop earrings, listening to r & b music, having a short sassy hair style and an attitude along with loving men of a darker color has made me appear to be the stereotype. Well trust me this college educated, childless, independent white girl is FAR from my lesser counterparts. So for all of those young ladies aiming to please, cut the corn rows honey, we can still see you're white...gurl.

Dream Catcher

What can I do for you?? What is it about a man with a woman that he sees some sort of vantage point? Some sort of way to get ahead or get somewhere he wasn’t before. Whether it’s from the bus stop to the grocery or literally a better place in life. White men are opportunistic as well take my word, they just don't vocalize it the same way. They will sit and be patient and wait for a woman to get so irritated that eventually she just takes him out herself. Plans, pays, and practically holds the door too. men will straight up ask you…”Where you taking me tonight?” Joking or not…it’s all too often NOT a joke. But these same men with no manners will always hold the door for you. After all they claim to treat women like Queens and expect in return to be treated like a King. I have yet to be treated like a Princess, let alone a Queen... I think they expect me to be the typical dumb ass, doormat, white girl…think again. I got a job, my own money, my own place..what do you have?? Some people say  “you mess with scrubs that’s why”, please. I’ve done the ‘thug’ thing it's fun, but it gets old. The problem is the ‘thug’ mentality is staying with these men well into their 30’s and really getting out of hand. A man with that seems to have his life together can still expect to ride my coat tails. I’ve seen it first hand. GROW UP FELLAS! Stop asking “What you going to buy me? Did you make me dinner? Can you float me some money?”  I got here for me, not you. Hey dream catcher..GET YOUR OWN!!!